This is what he sent me in a later email (yes, I correspond to ALL the guys who send one in).
"I did it writing "welcome to Jamaica and have a nice day" in iddey biddey little letters but I misspelled welcome and Jamacia and burnt myself on the lamp I was using to take a macro photo at high enough quality to be able to read it and by the time I washed it off and tried again it was so flaccid that it was virtually inverted. Then I tried to write it in roman numerals but XLVII doesn't make much sense."
I wish I could link this guy because he has such a sharp wit.
Ok, first of all, ladies, this is not my penis. If it were my penis, you would know it, because it would emanate a glorious, golden light (it just does that, I don't know why).
Secondly, if I were to submit my penis - and I'm not saying that I'm going to, I'm just saying if I were to - but if I were to submit my penis to this little female lust carnival, I promise you I would not use photoshop to alter the natural majestic beauty of my manhood (as Ubermouth suggested) in any way. While I am a wiz at photoshop, some things are just sacred, you don't screw around with them.
And thirdly (I like doing things in groups of three), if that had been my penis, it would not have 47 marks on it, because I honestly don't know how many women I've slept with at this point. Incidentally, I believe the number is right around 47, but that's purely coincidental.
If I , as his agent, has any sway ocer the captain, and I believe I DO, then I implore oyu NOT to do this! Think of your career? Do you think Shakespeare would have done this? Okay , bad point! I would lose all respect for you, and that should be an incentive enough. YOU are a fine Southern gentleman remember? And I WILL recognize you by the spinning melon attached! Sorry girls, nobody likes a prude! I fear this is oging to turn into a petition to save Smacker's dignity. Interesting, I hsall probably be the lone one to appeal to his sense of self respect, you girls can work on his ego and we will see what wins out. Wonder on what line Zoning will stand???? I am going to get her!
#1 - Write secret on penis
#2 - Take picture
#3 - Email to phishez_rule@hotmail.com
#4 - Check back
Simple!
This is supposed to be a fun site, not a porn site. So NO CUMSHOTS. They will not be posted. I WILL compose a post stating your name (and blog address if provided) and the fact that you cannot read.
20 comments:
Jaysus! Captain Smack?
Captain Smack would never do this!( and if he did it would be altered to be bigger than the CN Tower, no doubt (with a joint in it.)
Uber, who has a joint in their wang?
Is that some sort of surgical enhancement to get to the Gspot or what?
I can assure you that this is not The Captain.
Is 45 alot?
My magic number is far more scary than that...
Am I a....WHORE?
that's just hymens
:-)
haaaaaaahahhahahahahaha
HYMENS, ahhhhhaaaaa
anon - hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I want to get surgery to replace my hymen so this man will visit me.
Call me SUGAR !
"Um, hello.. is Captain Smack, home??"
I changed my mind. I AM coming to the states!
Hello BIG BOY!
I feel like a horny slut... more than my usual horny slut self, i mean :)
I'm glad your enjoying it girls. And Anon - I love your sense of humor.
Its kitty's fault. She's a bad influence on me. mhaaahahaha
i want some more cocks! yes i know i say it all the time - but this time i mean it. where are you boy bloggers with the balls to actually show them?
miss smack i AM a bad influence. its best my quality!
Can I post my balls another time. They are still a bit burnt from when they touched the reading lamp I was using to illuminate when I took this pick.
Its 47 by the way kitty - have a closer look.
sorry anon, its not that i didn't look for a fucken long time. i did baby.
i just too stupid to count that high. don't pick on the simple girl.
This is what he sent me in a later email (yes, I correspond to ALL the guys who send one in).
"I did it writing "welcome to Jamaica and have a nice day" in iddey biddey little letters but I misspelled welcome and Jamacia and burnt myself on the lamp I was using to take a macro photo at high enough quality to be able to read it and by the time I washed it off and tried again it was so flaccid
that it was virtually inverted. Then I tried to write it in roman numerals but XLVII doesn't make much sense."
I wish I could link this guy because he has such a sharp wit.
Ok, first of all, ladies, this is not my penis. If it were my penis, you would know it, because it would emanate a glorious, golden light (it just does that, I don't know why).
Secondly, if I were to submit my penis - and I'm not saying that I'm going to, I'm just saying if I were to - but if I were to submit my penis to this little female lust carnival, I promise you I would not use photoshop to alter the natural majestic beauty of my manhood (as Ubermouth suggested) in any way. While I am a wiz at photoshop, some things are just sacred, you don't screw around with them.
And thirdly (I like doing things in groups of three), if that had been my penis, it would not have 47 marks on it, because I honestly don't know how many women I've slept with at this point. Incidentally, I believe the number is right around 47, but that's purely coincidental.
Fuck me *breathes hard*. Awesome :D
If I , as his agent, has any sway ocer the captain, and I believe I DO, then I implore oyu NOT to do this! Think of your career? Do you think Shakespeare would have done this? Okay , bad point!
I would lose all respect for you, and that should be an incentive enough. YOU are a fine Southern gentleman remember?
And I WILL recognize you by the spinning melon attached!
Sorry girls, nobody likes a prude!
I fear this is oging to turn into a petition to save Smacker's dignity.
Interesting, I hsall probably be the lone one to appeal to his sense of self respect, you girls can work on his ego and we will see what wins out.
Wonder on what line Zoning will stand???? I am going to get her!
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